


Every Song That I've Ever Loved

by thesoundofnat



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 03:52:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4289763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Listening to their songs becomes painful while they’re broken up, and it seems as if they can’t escape them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Song That I've Ever Loved

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by an anon on tumblr.
> 
> It's also posted on my tumblr thesoundofnat.tumblr.com.

After all he’d been through, Kurt really had thought that he’d been a strong person. He’d taken beatings, slurs, and never-ending cruelty and come out alive, so why oh why was a song making him feel this choked up?

To be fair, he’d had an emotional day. He wasn’t one to cry when being yelled at, but it seemed as if every single teacher he’d had that day had been out to get him, and he’d entered the loft feeling more drained than usual. He hadn’t been alone. Rachel and Santana had both been home, and he’d honestly felt overwhelmed with how much those two could talk sometimes.

“Do you two ever shut up?” he’d grumbled, mostly to himself. The others had been too busy all but screaming at each other to hear him.

Thus Kurt had turned on the radio in order to tune out of their shouting match while he was making dinner, and boy did he wish he hadn’t.

Teenage Dream had come on. Teenage Dream. That song was ancient by this point, but it had never ceased to make Kurt go through countless of emotions, usually good ones, but today, after everything, it had just made him sad. That was Blaine’s song. Blaine, who had cheated on him. Blaine, who didn’t seem to love him.

So Kurt had ordered Rachel to finish dinner and disappeared into his room to press his face against his pillow to muffle his sobs. Something in his voice must’ve told Rachel that he meant business, so she hadn’t objected.

That had been hours ago, and Kurt was still curled up on his bed, his pillow almost ruined from his tears and his stomach aching from hunger. He’d neglected eating, not wanting to face his friends, because he was pretty sure they could hear every single sharp intake of breath, every single shaky exhale. Curtains didn’t make good walls, after all.

He felt empty, but not from the lack of food. He felt exhausted, but not due to all the stress he’d been through lately. It wasn’t even because he’d spent the afternoon crying. He was just exhausted and empty and all he wanted was to hide from the world for a while.

But he didn’t. He wiped his face, blew his nose, and walked out of his room as if nothing had happened, served himself a big portion of food and had ice cream afterwards. “Life goes on”, he told himself. “No matter how much it hurts.”

…

Blaine felt lousy. It was a Friday, which meant movie night with Tina and Sam. Usually that was the highlight of his week, but today was an exception. In fact, this whole week had been sucky, and Blaine had constantly been on the verge of tears, but he’d pushed it back. He might be an emotional person, but he didn’t like crying.

When Tina suggested that they watch Moulin Rouge he’d been enthusiastic, because he’d felt as if watching an old favorite would make him feel better. It didn’t. As soon as he heard the first few words of the opening dialogue he felt a lump form in his throat.

“This used to be our movie,” he whispered, almost inaudibly.

“What?” Sam asked, leaning closer to him to hear better.

Blaine shook his head. “Kurt and I. This was one of our favorite movies to watch together.”

Tina squeezed his arm sympathetically. “We can watch something else.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I can’t neglect the things I love just because they remind me of him.” He felt guilt wash over him. “Especially since I’m the one who screwed up.”

In the end he found himself sobbing into the arms of his friends as Come What May played in the background. It took him months to watch Moulin Rouge again.

…

Kurt was honestly too pissed off to be able to form coherent words. Rachel had spent almost all of Christmas break belting out a weird version of Baby It’s Cold Outside, and she wouldn’t stop no matter how many times he asked her to. At this point he was sure that she’d completely forgotten why Kurt couldn’t stand hearing that song anymore.

“Rachel, for Santa’s sake, please shut up!” Kurt exclaimed. “If you really have to sing, please sing something else.”

Rachel just looked him straight in the eyes and started all over. He was going to strangle her one of these days.

…

“Oh, please, not that song,” Blaine pleaded, speaking up for the first time since Glee club had started that day. “Anything but that song.”

“Why?” Mr Schuester frowned. “What’s wrong with that song?”

Blaine swallowed, not wanting to state the actual reason out loud to everyone. “We, uh, The Warblers lost when Kurt and I sang Candles, so I doubt we’ll win with it this time.”

Mr Schuester hummed. “True. Well, does anyone have any other suggestion?”

Blaine exhaled in relief, trying to ignore the hollowness in his gut.

…

When Kurt and Blaine were reunited as a couple, it was as if they could both breathe again. No frustration or tension or sadness haunted them anymore, and they were no longer afraid to turn on the radio or put their music on shuffle. All was well, for a while, and when they broke up the second time they knew what to expect. Rule number one: don’t listen to music. Ever.

Therefore, when they found themselves married and happy and together, songs they used to love had become a sore topic at this point.

Blaine went stoic the very moment he heard the intro to Somewhere Only We Know. Memories of Kurt, younger and more broken than ever, going back to McKinley after having spent some time at Dalton filled his mind, and Blaine being so proud of him, despite how sad he was to see him go. Those memories were quickly replaced with Blaine telling Kurt that he cheated on him, Kurt breaking up their engagement, Kurt’s face when he found out that Blaine was dating Dave. They had been through so much, and Blaine was still astounded how some things could still hurt so much even though they were happy now.

Kurt noticed him wincing. “Blaine?”

He shook his head. “That song… It makes me feel things.”

Kurt bit the inside of his cheek. “It makes me feel things, too.”

“I’ve never told you this, but when we were broken up I couldn’t listen to our songs without getting sad,” Blaine admitted.

Kurt took his hand in his own. “Neither could I.”

Blaine smiled weakly. “We’re hot messes, even after marriage.”

Kurt gave a laugh. “We’ll just have to make new memories, and turn these songs good again.”

“Sounds good.”

“After all,” Kurt added. “You were my teenage dream.”

Blaine’s face split into a huge grin. “And you call me cheesy.”

“Shut up and kiss me, you dork.”

Blaine did, and all was good.


End file.
